Saturday, March 31, 2007

Your Own, Personal, Chocolate Jesus

Christians are so touchy. Why do we have to hear about their outrage everytime someone dips their Savior in urine or smothers their blessed virgin in elephant dung (an interesting choice of fecal matter, I might say. Better than, say dogshit or horseshit).

But a chocolate savior? Come on. Everybody loves chocolate. It's Easter for Christ's sake. Do you really think anyone would celebrate the brutal execution of someone 2000 years ago without the allure of chocolate?

And anatomically correct at that. And even more appropriate given that chocolate is brown. Don't they know Jesus was Black? I think we're getting at the real source of the complaint here. My only criticism is that Jesus doesn't have a beard, and if I still believed in this crap, my faith would surely be shaken.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Sitcoms. So easy a caveman can do it.

So, I thought this was a joke.

Apparently not. Though it does remind me of this:

I'd have to say that Geico commercials (excluding the gecko ones) are among the more entertaining in the game. I still don't really understand the correlation between goofball adverts and selling car insurance. There are certain products that effective branding can lead an increase in sales or whatever these people do, but I buy car insurance that is reasonably the cheapest, and with whom I haven't had a bad experience. Which is why I would never buy insurance from Geico.

When I bought my first car at 18, I bought insurance from Geico at a horrible rate. Immediately afterwards I decided that it was a bad decision and tried to get my money back immediately. No dice. They did agree to give me my money back, but only continuous hounding and three months later. So basically, fuck Geico, is what I'm saying here.

And that's how that usually goes.